For this game I decided to really follow Vipers 1B RHB #13 Jimmy Rohan. Why? Because from here it looks like he’s wearing stirrups. Hosiery points!
1st inning at-bat: F9 on a 0-0 pitch.
4th inning at-bat: Worked a walk on a 3-2 pitch. Hopefully he made fun of infielder/first base coach Kevin “Pcondoleezza” Price WEARING A HOODIE in one of the hottest days of the year so far in Calgary. Seriously, a hoodie? Rohan’s walk set the table for a “The Bat from the Hat” Drew Miller 3-run bomb that still hasn’t landed.
5th inning fielding first base: picked up a pebble from the infield and threw it towards the Vipers dugout. He also touched his toes after RP Stephen Whalen intentionally walked Moustache Metheny. Rohan defensively chalked up the 3rd out of the inning unassisted while the bases were loaded.
5th inning at-bat: I’ve had a lot to drink by now, so I’ll say he would have beat out a double play had there not already been 2 outs when he was batting.
6th inning fielding first base: I’ve really got to pee but I’m holding on to see if Rohan can turn an unassisted double play… but Edmonton kept hitting it where Vipers weren’t. Mrs. Lager went to pee and missed 4 Caps runs. I’m jealous because (A) she missed
the slaughter, and (B) I have to pee worse.
7th inning at bat: he’s in the batter’s box!
Former-Viper-turned-current-enemy Brent Metheny still gets that “Country Roads” song played for his before his ABs. He’s a moustache hero.
If the guy wearing the grey Jon Lester jersey is reading this, I hope you know your jersey is a cheap knockoff. The tells? Well (1) the MLB logo on the back collar is too small, (2) there’s too big of a space between “Red” and “Sox” on the jersey’s front, (3) the hanging Sox logo on the sleeve is made of too thin a fabric, and (4) the jersey looks like it was made out of satin.
Sing For Your Supper grade: F
We enjoyed the height mismatch during the three-legged race at the end of the third. More giants teamed with elves, please.
SP Dusty Gober scored the first run of 2011 for the Vipers on the Hallowed Grounds of Foothills Stadium.
10 kids were brought on-field to do the YMCA. By my count, 10% of them did the “C” the right way.
RP Dan “Less is” Morari didn’t get much of a chance tonight. 4 pitches. 4 balls. But he did get in this blog post!
As the top of the fifth carried on and the Vipers kept rotating relief pitchers (thanks J.J. Whetsel for stopping the bleeding), I was watching some little kid by the berm in a #14 powder blue Blue Jays jersey throw a two-seem fastball with movement. Who cares if it’s a foam baseball?
I dropped $2 into the home run bucket for Drew Miller, and it got me thinking that the pitchers should get a bucket too. Sure, they can hit home runs, but that’s not what they’re paid to do. There should be a Scoreless Strike Out The Side (SSOTS) Bucket. I’d pay.
All Metheny all the time! He may be on the wrong team now, but he’s still quality. Nice to see him engaging in some friendly banter with The People of Section A while he played 1B.
All Drew Miller does is get on base by any means necessary. Worth the ticket price right there.
The Capitals Todd Linden still legged out a triple when it was 12-4 in the 7th (and last) inning. Doesn’t he know I’m hungry and the concessions are closed?
The home plate ump was half-way through a fist-pump to call a strike on some Capital (hey, it’s Metheny again) in the 7th when Vipers catcher Matt Kavanagh got an appeal from the 3B ump to see if the batter went around a he said no, and the home plate ump abided. Does the blue get paid by the hour? Groan.
Kaplan got tossed by a home plate ump who can’t tell a ball from a strike. Seriously, why the ump-hate on Jonny? The 3B ump (who is 7 years old) suffers from small man syndrome (what kind of ump runs across the infield to challenge the entire home-team dugout?). That, and I’m a drunk fan.